Archive for the ‘SmellyBroom Scripts’ Category
It’s been a while since I’ve posted anything on here so I thought I should probably make it something big. Last night I intentionally went to see 2012. For those of you who don’t know, 2012 is yet another generic disaster movie with copious amounts of inconsistency, plot holes, flimsy science and plain old BAD FILMMAKING. What follows now is an abridged version of the movie’s script for your reading pleasure.
Last week I accidentally walked to the cinema and watched a cinematic masterpiece by the name of Fighting. What follows is my depiction of a hypothetical movie script which could have been referred to during filming.
DIRECTOR
Fade subtly… Wait, scrap that. Jump SUDDENLY into a high speed car chase.
EDITOR
What? But I’ve already faded the sound in and everything.
DIRECTOR
Leave the sound, people will think it’s artistic and whatnot.
A ludicrous car chase ensues in which James Bond defies the LAWS OF PHYSICS. In a mad scramble to find the NOS button on his Aston, James unwittingly blows his own door off.
JAMES
Holy balls! My arms, legs, torso, and in fact every part of my entire anatomy is fully exposed to the wildly inaccurate gunfire emanating from the family saloon behind me. I should engage the INVISIBLE DOOR-SHAPED BULLET-PROOF BAD-GUY DEFENCE SYSTEM.
Babylon A.D. is possibly the single worst movie I have ever seen. It’s currently sitting at 5% on Rotten Tomatoes and I don’t see it improving any time soon. It is so bad in fact that I’ve decided to write my own version of the movie script.