SmellyBroom.com

This is what happens when you gather a bunch of sober students in a flat.

Microwave fun. Who’d have thought you could do so much with just one microwave…

Stay tuned for SmellyBroom Show Episode 12. The Zoo outing.

Saw re-creation?

Truly, this is a fantastic response.

Something bad happened. I tried to mess around with the site again and it all went tits up.

I’m also fixing the SmellyBroom Show problems for everyone, so bear with me.

Restaurants that are posh. Why do they even exist?

My annoyances can be broken down into 4 distinct categories.

Dress Code
I’m not a child. If I’m paying money to eat I a) want to be able to wear what I want, and b) don’t care what anybody else in the restaurant is wearing. I want a restaurant where customers can wear Borat thongs or gimp suits without having to worry about being arrested.

Price
Higher cost doesn’t always mean better taste. In fact, usually, you’re expected to pay upwards of £20 for what could easily be a chunk of pig’s arse marinated in cat wee and garnished with poo nuggets.

Service
Good service in a posh restaurant essentially means you get a pack of retarded waiters hovering over your table for the entire duration of the evening. If your fork needs straightening, they’re right in there straightening it for you. You take a sip from your glass; they fill it up. You break wind violently; they give you air freshener. Really, if I wanted to be treated like a toddler… hmm. Granted, I wouldn’t know where I else to go, but at the end of the day I would rather be treated like a student moron having an unusually sophisticated night out.

The People
Posh restaurants are full of posh people. It’s the way it works. Posh people don’t like me. I dress inappropriately, I make inappropriate comments, I have inappropriately low amounts of money, and generally, I’m too retarded to be out in public.

So then, you now have a rough idea as to why I always decline spending money at posh restaurants.