SmellyBroom.com

A couple more links for you all to ignore today.

Karate High School

Freddy and the Dials

What you’re seeing here is the new SmellyBroom.com layout in development. It’s not finished, things don’t work, and it will probably be just generally in a shittier state that usual.

You have been warned.

Juice for homosexuals, more commonly known as the ‘Poof Juice’.

Most of you will have come across this variety of drink for sale in shops and even some bars and clubs. Some of you might even have been tempted to drink it, but I’m sure you’re all already aware of this. So let us talk now about how homo-juice is actually made. To give you an insight into the hows and whys of homo-juice creation, I interviewed the factory manager of a leading homo-juice brand.

“The first step in our process is the harvesting and gathering of vast amounts of wild flowers and pony hair. Once we have these necessary ingredients, we mix it up with a combination strawberry milkshake and Lambrini and then pour the mixture into a large pink plastic bathtub. For this next delicate stage of the production we employ a platoon of German, leather clad, ex male pornstars to come in and jump up and down in the tubs until the solution becomes saturated with toe-sweat. This is what gives it that extra little kick.”

“Then we take our carefully prepared solution, stick it in a food processor and blend it with a mature bottle of Buckfast. We chose Buckfast because primarily because of its outstanding levels of shitness. Those monks in Cornwall are literally begging us to get rid of that crap, and so we have.”

“The last step in our production line involves a visit to a nearby nursery. It’s here that we get little girls to come up with a name for our drinks, and in many cases also design the label and branding for the product. It’s a method which we find works particularly well when targeting the younger end of the market.”

So there we have it everyone. Next time you see someone sucking on a homo-juice, be sure to give him a slap.

Are you bored of seeing that same crudely drawn penis and companion hairy testicle on your screen?

If you are, then tough luck. Its staying!

A few days from now I’ll be updating the SmellyBroom.com site design for improved arse-kicking and crotch-rockage functionality.

It’s taken over 7 months, but it’s finally hear. Roadkill stains.

Seriously though, it was an otter, a poor defenceless otter out for its nightly jog across the roads.

In somewhat interesting news, I have returned from my annual 14 day pilgrimage to the Buckfast distillery. Yep. That means more updates.