SmellyBroom.com

Well from my limited experience with the roads in Toyland, I have made the following discoveries.

Pavements are for motorbikes
Seriously, I was just walking along the pavement, as you do, and this motorbike runs me over and breaks both my legs.

The middle lane
This discovery was made by me when I noticed a lorry coming straight towards us on the road. As far as I can work out, the middle lane is designed to be used by the biggest vehicle. Safety at its highest.

Traffic Lights
Based on my limited experience, traffic lights appear to be only used for guidance at junctions. Green meaning floor it, and red meaning floor it but brace yourself. Ingenious system.

Motorbikes seat four
Motorbikes have enough room for 4 people and a dog. Gosh, I never knew that before.

Im sure of this, it doesn’t matter if I walk through those things naked or carrying a machine gun. They still beep!

And then you get felt up by some fat woman with a stick.. every arsing time!

Obviously. I mean, when you’ve got 3 hours to kill in an airport there’s nothing like spending some quality time in a prayer room.. on a rug.. facing mecca..

Retards.

It’s true. Unless you’ve been living in a cave for a month, or alternatively, you only check my blog once a month, then you may have noticed the complete lack of any articles during the month of October. But fear not, for I have made many observations and discoveries during that time and am now ready to share them with you.

I am so glad I made it back to see this. It was incredible. Last night, midnight lasted for a whole hour! Seriously. It was awesome, if you haven’t experienced clocks going back an hour, you haven’t lived.

Well well, it’s been 27 days and I’m almost going home. I unfortunately was not motivated enough to make any trips to use any form of computer for the past 4 weeks, but now there’s free internet in my room so there really isn’t any excuse.

I estimate, based on current wind speeds, weather conditions, 7 hour time-zone difference and geographical locations that I shall be setting foot in the Big M some time in the future. In fact I’ll be there in time for ye olde annual stick burning ritual in November.

That’s all for now, so toodles and wotnot.

Just thought I’d mention that this free internet I found is pretty damn sucky. Oh, and the keyboard is covered in Thai letters so that makes typing kinda challenging. But here I am, made it in one piece, only a few mishaps to report.

A terrorist-like bloke left his bag next to me in the toilets and left.. but I didn’t stick around to see if it exploded or not.

..but anyways.. I can’t be bothered sitting here, so I’m off to the beach.